It's been radio silence from my end since June and I'm sorry to any and all who've been following my blog and hoping for an update. I've not really been in any place to make one for quite a while. So let's do it now while things are looking up:
I'm alive but things have been rough on my end. Nothing that won't sort itself in time and nothing that I care too go into too much detail about, but it's been sucking any creative talent I have. I've mostly been hiding out in my house and letting the boy take care of me, doll that he is.
To all those who have emailed me over the last month, thank you, and I'll reply soon to everything that I can.
I love you all and never forget that you're my clockwork puppies. I promise to have something new and interesting for you very soon.
I don't even know what to do. I miss you so much, Mal. But I'm so scared of you and what you're capable of. I've never felt like that about you before. I know your past and that you've done bad things but... Quinn is scared of you and I don't know how to make that okay in my head.
It's so wrong. I cry at night and sometimes the only person I want is you and yet...
I love you, but I'm scared of you. I hope where ever you are that you're safe. I understand that I guess you did what you had to do. I think that's the only thing I ever understand anymore.
I just wanted you to know that I was talking on Deirdre's post the other day and replying back and forth with her housemate Jinx and, well, I mean, I wasn't really flirting because I'm with you - completely and totally - but it was sort of like flirting and I just didn't want you to be upset. And I could try and write this elequently but I'll take too long and be too scared to actually post it but I didn't think it was fair that I'd done it and not told you because if you didn't see it then it was like I was doing it behind your back, and if you did see it then it was like pretending it didn't happen.
I'm posting this right now because I delete it.
I have put off making a post about this for a while as I wanted to try and get myself sorted out with it before I did, but I think it's certainly time now.
At the beginning of April my record company dropped me from their books, citing the commercial failure of Sirens for it. Which is fair enough from a business point of view as the album hasn't actually earned enough money to break even from making it. (The only reason I'm not actually in debt over it is that I've earned songwriting royalties, performed shows, and the videoclip we filmed was done almost free as a favour from a friend.) What this all means for now is that I am without a label which, while giving me a certain freedom I didn't have before, means I also don't have a way to release my music in any tangible form.
That said, I will still continue to have digital purchases available and you can find them on the shop part of the website. I'll still be doing my outdoor basically-busking shows as I have been doing, but there won't be much more than that.
I'll keep everyone up to date with whatever happens and I like you all know. Much love to all the goth puppies who have been so supportive of me and I hope you continue to do so because this is when I'm really going to need it.
THE ROOF IS FIXED! OUR ROOF IS FIXED!
Oh my god, no more leaking! NO MORE LEAKING!
Yes, this is the most exciting thing in the entire world!
My record company called today to let me know they're not renewing my contract for a second album.
I guess that's all, folks.
You ask why poets speak so often
In the language of goodbyes.
It’s because beginnings take them by surprise.
Love comes and hammers them,
And then the poor fools are lost for words.
They abandon their pens, and their fingers
Itch for other things: buttons, nipples, zips –
For everything but the poor abandoned pen.
My own words fall flat today.
(That sounds like I'm emo. I'm not emo, just kind of boring.)